Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Tuesday March 14,2017

Hello everyone! It has been an awesome week!
     So we had another wonderful round of TRC's this week. We taught one named Kristen. I LOVE TRC's. So Kristen was our first TRC. To give you a little background she is a member of another faith that is, actually, similar to ours in a lot of it's teachings. Her husband is LDS and she is taking the missionary discussions because her husband really wants to be sealed but she was hesitant because she didn't really agree with some of the teachings of our church. We went in and asked her what her concerns were with the church and she said that she knows what priesthood is and that we believe we have it but she said she didn't feel comfortable agreeing that ONLY our church has God's authority. She said that if God loves all of his children she didn't understand why he would only give his authority to the members of one church when most churches try to bring people to him. I thought this was a valid concern. Her other concern was that she was baptized into her church and she didn't understand why she needed to be rebaptized. Well, I felt the spirit tell me to do some research before trying to answer her questions. Unfortunately, I decided to ignore that and answer them anyway. WRONG ANSWER. I tried to explain the answers and as I was talking I felt the spirit leave, I then panicked and continued to talk more. I knew what I was trying to say but the more I talked the worse it got. My words weren't coming out the way I wanted them to and I eventually just stopped talking and let Sister McDonald finish teaching the whole lesson. I felt awful. We went back to the class and I couldn't figure out why my words weren't saying what I was trying to say. My teacher approached me and said "Uhm... so.... Sister Lloyd, how do you feel about that lesson?" I started bawling. I felt so bad and I definitely knew that I had accidentally taught her things that weren't true trying to explain a concept that I understood. My teacher and Sister McDonald comforted me and told me that, fortunately, we had another lesson and I could go in and fix it. I studied harder than I have ever studied in my life over the next two days until our next lesson and I studied baptism, priesthood, covenants, I studied where she was in the Book of Mormon, basically anything I could come up with that could possible relate to this situation so that I could feel comfortable and have the spirit help me. We went back in on Friday and I sat down and said "I think in our last lesson as I was trying to explain some things I might have accidentally explained things poorly and given you some misinformation." I continued to reexplain things according to the studies I had done. When I finished she thanked me and she said that she definitely had some misunderstandings from what I had said last time. We had a really good conversation though and I felt the spirit again. What a relief! Then we told her we had studied in the Book of Mormon where she had told us she would be studying: 1 Nephi chapters 4 and 5. We asked her if she had any questions and she told us she had been wondering why God would command Nephi to kill Laban but she talked to her husband about it and felt like she had a better understanding and appreciation for Nephi after that conversation. Sister McDonald and I then explained that in our studies for her we had come across a scripture that we felt described her situation. 1 Nephi 4: 6-7 "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. Nevertheless I went forth..." We asked her how she thought this could relate to her and we had a really good discussion about how she doesn't know why she is meeting with us other than to learn about her husbands religion and figure out the answers to her questions and so she is going forth not knowing what she needs to do. We then explained that that was true and we felt that as she was acting on faith, continuing to meet with us and doing the things that we ask her to do that she would be led by the spirit. We told her that we can talk and try to explain why she needs to be baptized again into our church all day long but that at the end of the day it wasn't going to help her because she is the kind of person who needs to know for herself what the difference is. I looked at her and said "Kristen, we would like to invite you to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being baptized by someone holding the Priesthood Authority of God. Would you be willing to act on faith and accept our invitation?" She said yes! I then promised her that if she would do this that God would show her through thoughts and feelings, the difference between her two baptisms and she would know why she needed to be baptized again by priesthood authority. It was by far the best lesson Sister McDonald and I have taught. 
     In between the first and second lessons with Kristen was a hard time for me. I felt so bad that I had gone against the spirit and I felt that I had failed as a missionary. If I had failed my TRC this bad how on Earth was I going to be successful in the field? Why didn't I listen to the spirit? Why were my answers so bad that she misunderstood me? I prayed a LOT in those two days and I studied even more. I knew that I needed to show Heavenly Father that I felt bad, recognized my mistake and would do my best to fix it and not do it again. Repentance is real. Anyway, I felt really bad about myself as a person and a missionary and there was a lot of problems in our sistrict this week as well. We are all antsy and ready to be out of the MTC and because it was everybody's last week here most of the girls didn't have any patience left. I didn't really have too much of a problem with it but some other sisters DEFINITELY let their anxieties take away from their patience, needless to say, the girls were not nice to each other this week. I feel very blessed that I have had as much patience with and love for the girls I'm with because I haven't had any problems. Anyway, There was a lot of petty arguments and frustrations among the sisters and it ended up being just a really bad situation because nobody could feel the spirit and it really was just a bad situation overall. All of us wanted to go home this week. Some of us got closer than others. Nobody ended up going home which was a blessing and eventually everything got worked out but it was really hard for a day or two. 
     Thursday we had something called In-Field Orientation which is basically where they just pull you into a couple different classrooms for nine hours and teach you all the things that you need to know for the field that they haven't had a chance to teach you yet. No, apparently three weeks is not enough time to cover everything. I was surprised too. Anyway it was a LONG day but luckily we all knew what this mean, only a few days till the field. I fly out Wednesday the 15 at 3:20 in the morning. I'm beyond excited. As nervous and anxious as I have been and as much as I've fought it up till now, I still am so excited to go.



 While I've been here at the MTC my testimony has grown so much. I say this all the time but I am seriously, so blessed! I'm blessed to know that God is my Father in Heaven and that he loves me and is aware of me. He has a plan for me and even though our plans for my life have NEVER matched, his is always the one that brings me the most joy. I know that God only wants us to be happy, that's why he sent Jesus Christ to be our Savior. I am so grateful that I know that I never have to be alone. I know that Christ feels absolutely everything that I ever have felt and ever will feel. I never have to feel like nobody understands or nobody gets it, someone always does. Christ is the only reason I'm here. Christ is the only reason I've made it this far. Christ is my best friend, my older brother, my protector and my Savior. The biggest thing that I've learned while I've been here is that I'm not here for myself, I'm not even here for the people of Arkansas, I'm here because God and Christ have given more to me than I will ever be able to pay back. Even if I spend every single second of the rest of my life serving God it will never repay the debt I have because God gives me every breath I take and every ounce of energy that I have. God is so good! What a blessing it is to know that God is aware of us and that Christ loves each of us so much that he came, willingly, knowing the horrible pain and suffering he would have to go through. Knowing he would have to feel the most bitter sorrow anyone could ever feel, pay for every single sin ever committed and literally be the ONLY person to TRULY know what it feels like to be alone. He knew that a lot of the people he did this for we turn away. He know people wouldn't accept it and use it and he did it anyway. If you don't have a good relationship with Christ I would invite you to study his life and his attributes. Change the way you pray. Change the way you study and what you study. I know, because of my experiences at the MTC and otherwise that even if you think you understand something, you don't. I love my God and I love my Savior. I know that it is only through Christ that we can gain any joy in this life. Happiness is good, but joy is so much better. Joy is lasting. I know God is aware of each of you. I know Christ loves you. Rely on him and your life will only improve. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I love you all so much and I am so grateful for all of your love, prayers and support. You guys are wonderful and I love you all! Talk to you next week from Arkansas (or Kansas or Missouri or Oklahoma)! 

"They that trust in the LORD shall be as mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth forever." -Psalm 125:1

-Sister Lloyd

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~Sister Madisen Lloyd

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